A father and son are walking down the street together when they happen upon a dead bird. The son asks his father whats wrong with the bird. "Well son, that bird has died." replied the dad. Son asks, "why is he lying on his back with his feet in the air?" The old man, being quick witted explains t...Read more

. Two hours into my first day of work as a WalMart greeter, an ugly woman came in with her two kids. Hearing her swear at them, I said, "Good morning, welcome to WalMart. Nice kids, are they twins?" The mom answered, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's...Read more

you can tell what a women likes by her feet if they are behind her ears she likes you

a little boy sent a letter to santa saying can you send me a little brother for christmas....santa replied back send me your mom......

what do you do with 365 used condoms you melt them down and make a tire and call it a good year

Obama an Harper are in small town Idaho,they go into a bar with a dog,order drinks,old timer walks in a lifts their dogs tail n leaves,another guy does this an a few more do the same, they ask they bartender,why are these guys doing this,bartender says,ohhh some idiot is going around town saying ...Read more

A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking. The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad." The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza." The penis says "You think you have it bad, ...Read more

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do wa...Read more

A man brings his male parrot into the vet and explains that he can't seem to figure out what's wrong with him. The bird seems very mopey and quiet and just not his usual talkative self. The vet reassures the owner and tells him that that she'll have to keep the parrot overnight to assess him pro...Read more

So this guy's sitting at a bar and in walks a cute little blonde and sits beside him. He says to her, "You remind me of my little toe." She replies,"Why, cause Im small and cute?" He says, "No, because I;m going to bang you on my coffee table later when I'm drunk!!!"